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When Janelle and Marcus started dating, everything felt easy. They could talk for hours, laugh, and feel completely at ease. But after a few months, Marcus noticed that Janelle sometimes pulled away during intimate moments or seemed distant even when they were together. It wasn’t something either of them fully understood at first, and it began to create tension they hadn’t faced before.
Janelle’s experience is common for survivors of trauma, especially when it goes unaddressed. Without realizing it, past experiences can influence how someone relates to their partner, creating a barrier that neither person fully understands. Trauma can manifest in behaviors like sudden withdrawal, difficulty with closeness, or emotional responses that feel out of place.
Dr. Kreszentia Ashford, a licensed sex therapist, explains: “Unresolved sexual trauma can significantly impact a healthy relationship by creating barriers to emotional intimacy, trust, and communication. Trauma survivors may experience triggers that lead to fear, anxiety, or detachment, which can make it difficult to fully engage with their partner. They may struggle with vulnerability or expressing their needs due to feelings of shame or mistrust stemming from past experiences. These challenges can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of isolation within the relationship. For partners to navigate this, open communication, patience, and support, often supplemented with professional counseling, are essential in fostering a safe and understanding environment.”
Moving Forward Together
For couples like Janelle and Marcus, the path forward often involves open, honest conversations and a commitment to understanding each other’s needs. Recognizing how trauma may influence behaviors and responses is the first step in learning to navigate it with compassion.
Couples can also set boundaries that help both partners feel safe. Healing, after all, isn’t about forcing change but about giving each other the space to grow and trust gradually. It’s a process that benefits from patience, empathy, and professional support when needed.
Embracing the Support of Therapy
Working with a trauma-informed therapist can be transformative, helping both partners understand each other on a deeper level and create strategies for building a resilient relationship. Therapy provides couples with tools to work through emotional challenges together, helping them form a strong foundation for the future.
Healing from trauma can be difficult, but by facing it together, couples can build understanding and love grounded in empathy and trust.