You know that feeling—you’ve finally met someone who’s everything you’ve been looking for.
They check all your boxes. Maybe you’ve even found love in what felt like a hopeless place
(cue Rihanna vibes). You’re vibing, the chemistry is real, and you’re thinking, “Could this be it?”
But hold on. Before you get completely swept away in the feels, here’s the deal: just because
you’ve found love doesn’t mean you should lose yourself in it. It’s easy to get caught up in the
magic, but let’s remember—you are the magic, too. So now that you’ve found love, what are
you going to do with it? More importantly, how are you going to make sure that you still shine
just as brightly, even with someone else in the picture?
Let’s dive into how you can hold onto yourself, even when someone is giving you all the feels.
1. Your Life Was Already Poppin’ Before They Showed Up
Before they came into your life, you were already on your own path. You were doing your thing,
building your future, chasing your goals—and that’s exactly what made you so appealing to
them in the first place.
Just because love found you doesn’t mean you have to drop everything to accommodate it. The
life you were living before—your hobbies, your passions, your people—is still valid. Keep
watering your own garden. If this person truly checks all your boxes, they’ll want to see you
grow, not shrink.
2. Now That You’ve Found Love, Don’t Forget About Yourself
Falling in love can be intoxicating—it’s like being on cloud nine. But now that you’ve found love,
it’s time to ask yourself: What are you going to do with it? One thing you shouldn’t do is lose
track of who you are.
Check in with yourself regularly. Are you still doing the things that make you happy? Have you
compromised too much? Staying connected with yourself means taking time to nurture your
own spirit, even in the middle of a relationship. Relationships work best when two whole people
come together—so don’t lose sight of your wholeness.
3. Your Dreams Matter—Don’t Put Them on Pause
When you meet someone who feels like the perfect match, it can be tempting to shift all your
focus to them and their world. But here’s the reality: your dreams, hustle, and ambitions don’t
take a back seat. You’ve worked too hard to let all that go now.
Remember, you didn’t find love just to abandon your own journey. A healthy relationship means
you both support each other’s dreams and grow together. The right person will push you to
chase your goals even harder. So keep grinding, and make sure that the love you’ve found
doesn’t dim your shine, but makes it brighter.
4. Don’t Ditch Your People
We’ve all seen it happen: someone finds love and suddenly they’re MIA. Don’t be that person.
Just because you’ve found love doesn’t mean your friends and family should fall by the wayside.
These are the people who’ve had your back through the ups and downs, the ones who remind
you who you are when life gets messy.
They’ll keep you grounded when you’re swept up in the romance, and if this relationship is the
one, they’ll want to meet the person who’s making you so happy. Your community is part of who
you are—don’t lose sight of that.
5. Set Boundaries—And Stick to Them
When someone seems perfect, it’s easy to bend the rules a little, to say “yes” when you mean
“no,” or to let things slide because you’re trying to keep the peace. But boundaries are essential,
even when you’re deeply in love.
Set them early, and stick to them. Whether it’s about how much time you need for yourself, or
what your non-negotiables are, you deserve to be heard and respected. If they check all your
boxes, they’ll respect your boundaries and honor your needs.
6. Keep Growing Together, But Don’t Stop Growing Individually
You found love in a hopeless place—amazing! But don’t forget that growth doesn’t stop just
because you’ve found someone. That’s when the real work starts. You need to keep evolving,
pushing yourself to grow into the best version of yourself, with or without a partner.
A great relationship will push both of you to become better, but it won’t demand that you lose
yourself in the process. Keep chasing new experiences, learning new things, and setting
personal goals. The right person will grow with you, but they won’t hold you back from growing
on your own.
Now that you’ve found love, what are you going to do with it? The answer is simple: keep being
you. Don’t let the thrill of a new relationship pull you off course or make you forget about the
things that make you, you.
Love is amazing, especially when it feels like you’ve finally met someone who ticks all the
boxes. But the key to lasting love? Staying true to yourself. Keep doing the things that light your
fire, keep growing, and keep showing up as your authentic self. That’s the secret to not just
finding love, but holding onto you while you’re in it.